32 As it begins, realisations seep through

 Waking early, just as the dawn was about to break, I looked across at Hao Yang and smiled. He had had a rough night. Most of his bedding had shifted as he had tossed and turned so now his bearskin was probably on the  hard ground. He carried on sleeping, so I went down to the water to bathe, rinse my hair and whilst they still slept, catch a fish for breakfast. Little did he know, the food from now on would have to have input from him too. If he wants breakfast, he'll have to catch it himself.

I caught the fish with ease. At this time of day they are still dozy and easy to catch. I wrapped it in muslin, smacked it behind the head, and threw it onto the bank.

Returning to the water I enjoyed a luxurious bathe contemplating the day and, drying off, dressed, set the fire and descaled the fish.

He still hadn't woken.

I set the pot on for hot water and added some fresh lotus shoots and skewered the fish so it could roast by the fire. It wouldn't take long.

I watched him. His nose started recognising the smell of fish cooking, and with a bleary look in the general direction of the fire he saw the food gently roasting. I heard his stomach rumble. He went to move and discovered the aches and pains caused by a poor bed.

I laughed, I remembered those days.

"Rough night?" I quizzed, with a smirk on my face, "try packing more under you tonight, and don't presume you'll get all you'll need in one trip. Took me three trips to get all the bedding material I needed and I top it up each day if I'm staying put."

He looked at me and then at the fish, getting more animated as it reached perfection.

"If you want fish then get going and tickle one out. This one is mine. I will feed you once a day. If you want more then you'll have to start watching and learning." I smiled, and reaching down, I pulled up the skewer and took a bite from the fish. With fish juice running down my face, I wafted the fish in the general direction of the water, "get going if you want one. They'll be more active as the sun gets higher and the water gets warmer." With that, I turned my attention to the fish.

I watched as he went to enter the water, " get you clothes off before you go in, it'll give you something dry to come out to. In the winter, you'll need that."

His head turned and looked aghast, but he stripped to his undergarments.

"That won't work!" I thought to myself but let him learn the hard way.

 

Watching him in the water was very entertaining. His flailed around, caught fish, dropped fish, lost his temper with fish but at no point did he do as Xin had, asked me how to do it. Pride, I think was something he had to overcome and this could well be a painful lesson for him. I wondered if there was also an issue with me being female. I taught Xin. She was female, didn't have this pride or presumption, instead she wanted to learn and jumped around me like a puppy dog..

'The problem is, you are an old mind in a young body. He is a very young mind in an athletic body. In his world his status is his shield. Out here, he has no shield and the little boy is revealed.' I mused to myself as I ate and watched the antics of a nine year old, 'yes, that seems to make sense.' I knew then it was going to be a hard road for him and I wasn't sure if he would be able to live with the humiliation he would probably experience. Could I persuade him he wanted to learn and step away from the conventions of the society he had grow up in?

'I will have to lead him, tell him and push him until he is the willing student minus his hangups. This is going to be tough.' I thought to myself.

I was hungry, cold, uncomfortable, scared even. I turned over and looked at her on the other side of the fire. She was sound asleep. Peaceful, content and in her world. How was I going to get there? I turned over again and facing away from the fire thought about the potential of what I was doing.

'I'm a fish out of water! I haven't a clue what's going on and I am alone.' I wanted to cry, to howl, to wail in my misery. 'She is like a goddess, but I am......' my voice trail off. 'what am I? Am I that pampered child everyone keeps going on about? How...?' I couldn't think any further. More to the point I didn't want to. I turned back to face the fire and tried once more to sleep.

I woke to the smells of fish cooking on the fire and she was sitting there, fresh and clean. She'd obviously swum, I felt an aching in a part of me I hadn't realised was more awake than expected as it remembered our first encounter. I struggled to control it.

With an almost dismissive air she told me to catch my own fish if I wanted to eat and then told me to strip before I went in the water.

"Get you clothes off before you go in, it'll give you something dry to come out to. In the winter, you'll need that." she said.

Embarrassment filled me and stripping off the top layer I ventured into the cool waters. I didn't want her to see my physical arousal.

Embarrassment and frustration now overwhelmed me. How did you catch one of these bloody fish!

I threw my hand up in the air and strode out of the water,

"I'll go without!" I shouted at her and sat down dejectedly.

She handed me half the fish and a bowl of lotus flavoured water. "Don't sit on your skins, you're wet and they will take ages to dry. Sit on this rock." she looked at me with a gentleness and understanding that melted my heart and my arrogant stupidity.

As I munched through the fish, she said, "We need to talk." 

'Yes we did, and I needed to explain a few things. I hope I don't upset her.'