48 Where is she?

After leaving my father somewhat speechless at my admissions, I moved myself and my close aide into the barracks. I wasn't going to entertain that man and his outbursts any more. I had taken the beatings, both mentally and physically, I had accepted his derisory comments in front of the troops, but no longer, and he knew it, because I had spelt it out clearly and loudly. 
If he didn't value me as his second son then disown me! But, and this was the big but, he had to do this publicly in front of his family, friends and troops. He had to explain clearly why he was disowning me, laying out my 'sins' for all to see. I knew he couldn't do that. My sin was being born and my mother dying six days later, and that was no excuse a father could make. In fact it should make him cherish me more,  after all, I was the last product between him and his wife, which, I presume, had been made out of love not just lust.
He had been shocked by that and attempted to backtrack on his words but I wasn't prepared to listen anymore.

My men seemed surprised as well but remained silent, knowing just how difficult my father could be.
My aide moved my belongings and I took up rooms with others of my rank; each of us having two rooms at our disposal.
I wondered if Niao would ever come to the barracks but shook my head as soon as the thought came to mind. 
'Unless she is my betrothed then her honor is at stake. No, what am I thinking?'
I felt constrained by all these rules but for society to run smoothly it needed guidelines and I had to accept that. 
She had guidelines too, dictated by the world around her. The difference for her was, if she didn't like those rules, she moved on and found a place where the rules suited her better. I suspected she was back there in her favourite camping spot and once I was settled I would visit her.
I imagined her swimming in the waters combing her hair with that gentle, contented smile on her face. She would dive down into the waters and come up with lotus root or a fish or even both. Then, draped in her long, black hair, she would emerge from the waters contentedly inspecting her catch.
In my mind I saw her drying herself and placing her skins back on. She'd then turn to the fire to make tea and whilst this was brewing, she'd gut the fish and scrape it clear of scales.
Wrapping it up in lotus leaves, she would bury it in the sand at the edge of the fire to gently cook.
Oh, how I missed her. How I missed that simplicity.
"Sir." The word brought me back from my daydream. I looked toward him. 
"Sir, a messenger is here, shall I show him in?"
I nodded in acknowledgment and settled down at my desk.
The messenger entered, " Sir, important news, we are needed on the front line within the month."
I read the message, then called for a meeting of Generals in my rooms within the hour.
"Send word to my brother."
"Sir," he bowed as he replied.
"Tell him I need him at the council meeting too. We need to be clear on what arms are available, the battalions further requirements and his ability to complete the orders in time."
The messenger nodded, "Sir," and left to do as bid.
'I will come to you soon Niao, I want you to come with us, your skills will be invaluable.' But in my heart of hearts I knew the primary reason was a selfish one, I wanted her close. 

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