114 Still waiting

 Bǎo looked out and wondered what the two ladies were doing. They had been gone for so long, he was beginning to wonder if they would ever come back. 'I wonder if we should send some people out to find them? Just to see if they are alright?' He searched the horizon as he did every morning but it was always to no avail.
Once, he had seen two people walking towards the town and his heart missed a beat, until he realised it was two farm worker returning home.
He turned from the lookout and was just about to go back to the barracks when Hao walked up.
"Any sign of them?" he asked as he approached.
Bǎo shook his head.
"Don't worry, I have every faith in Niao. She is keeping Xin away until she is back to herself and it will take as long as it takes." He reached forward and placed his hand on Bǎo's shoulder, "trust me, I know her well and if there was a problem, I'd know."
Bǎo looked at Hao and wondered how he always seemed so calm. He nodded and started to walk off.
"Now I've got you here, I wanted to talk to you about an incursion into Zhang province. My brother and I have been talking about this and wondered if you could accompany me to a meeting with the heads of the three provinces? It's time we quelled  Commander Zhang and his forces once and for all. I don't know the relationship he has with the Mu province but there is obviously some alliance, and the Mogul province through the gorge is tied up in this somewhere."
Bǎo nodded, "I was thinking something along these lines myself and was going to talk with you and General Chen, but they're only thoughts at the moment."
The two men began walking together and as they walked, they talked.
Since a third province had joined Twin Hammers and a fourth was also looking to join, the size of Twin Hammers was rivaling that of the Emperor himself. If the final fourth one collaborated, then there would be in excess of eight battalions, split between the various units, plus all the ancillaries which were specialising, training and preparing on a constant basis. 
The two wandered into the barracks and then strolled into General Chen's quarters.
"Oh, good, you found him. The other province leaders are already assembled next door. Any sign of the two ladies?" Second Master looked for one to the other. They both shook their heads. "They will return when ready, be patient," and with that he ushered the two men into the anti chamber and a long, but decisive meeting, was held.

The summer had all but passed and we still lived as we used to do. Xin was back to that bubbly woman again and seemed to have placed the whole experience into some sort of context.
One hot evening, having just been for yet another laze in the river, Xin suddenly asked, "Have you ever experienced rape?"
The question was so direct, it caught me by surprise, but I answered honestly.
"Yes. Whilst I had been travelling through the first winter on my own. I must have been about twelve years. Why do you ask?" I looked at her wondering if sharing this episode would help her in her rehabilitation.
"What happened?" she cuddled up to me, and laying her head on my shoulder, settled herself to listen.
"It was the first winter and I didn't know how to survive. The snow was heavy and I had nothing to keep warm, no food in the bundle and no skills to be able to catch that food. I was hungry and slowly dying. I slept during the day and walked at night when it was coldest because I knew if I slept I would never wake." Xin cuddled tighter and shivered. Touching her arm, I carried on, "I was walking late into the night when I smelt roasting meat and was so desperate I followed the smell. I thought they would take pity on a small child but they saw sport, fun and games. The tied me to a tree by my leg and started to strip me." I felt Xin wince, these were memories she shared, " they laughed at what was left of my body; bones, really. I was starving to death. Leaving me stripped, they took my clothes so I couldn't run and I watched as they ate the meat. They tossed me bones like a dog and I chewed on them..." I thought back to those hours, how they violated me, how they laughed as they called me like a dog. "Eventually they put a collar on me and made me follow them like a dog. They would violate me each night and feed me the scraps from their fire." I stopped as I thought back. Those men were lucky I was still that young and naive, any older and they would have lost their manhood.
"Go on," Xin was listening and following my experiences.
"Eventually they got bored with their plaything and left me tied to a tree, like an abandoned dog. They had thrown my clothes and my stuff towards me and slowly I managed to cut myself free. I was shaking and very sore. I bled profusely in ways I just couldn't imagine and was terrified meat eaters would follow the scent and kill me. It was then I took to the river and learned to spend time there. I found peace in the water and lay there letting the water cleanse me." I turned to face her. "Why do you think I tend to find spaces where I can be alone? Away from people? They frighten me. I'm afraid they will do the same again, but now I am older, stronger and more skilled. I don't think they could these days." I smiled at her and she buried her head in my neck.
"I'm so sorry."
"What for?"
"I didn't know."
"Its okay, honestly, its fine," I stroked her head, "you silly thing, what could you have done except join me in the abuse? You were younger than me."
She looked up at me and hugged me. "What would I do without my big sister?"
"Probably have died in a gutter somewhere in that town having been a woman in one of those houses."
She laughed, she knew I was right. 
"Xin, we must go back. I have been feeling Hao for a couple of days now and I think they are about to leave Shipao. Maybe its time to go home and face what's waiting for us there."
"Okay, but can we have just a couple of days more? I want you to explain this thing about the centre of the river and the effects of the banks? I don't understand and you gain so much peace from it, I want to be able to experience it too?"
"I think that's a very good idea. We can gift ourselves just a couple more days but then....." I looked toward the town and wondered what was happening. We had been away for a whole season and the heavy rains were due.
"Its okay, Niao, I know you feel things I don't and yes, if you say its time, then it is. Teach me the river and then lets go back."

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

79 A long night

Xin and I walked back to the border fort. We'd stopped off by a small herd of reasonably sized deer and taken two out of the group. "Good eating." Xin was as tired as I was and we were reduced to minimal chatter.  "Agreed," I shifted my load, " am hungry." "Me too." For the rest of the walk we travelled in silence. We weren't the last back, groups were still staggering in, each unit as exhausted as the next. The images of us must have been gruesome, each of us with varying layers of congealed blood.  One unit arrived and it dripped on the floor as they walked. They'd been busy. "All of you, wash house. Clean up, eat and return for a debriefing."  The officer turned to the two of us, " a large tub has been prepared for you in the side room here. I hope you're happy to share the same tub? It's a large one." He gestured the direction and we silently sloughed our way in. "Do we have cleaner clothes?" ...
Read more

1 In the beginning

The night was dark and still. The moon hung in the sky bathing the world with its stark light creating illusions and spinning stories. The families were asleep save one; the midwives had gathered, a birth was about to begin. My mother pushed hard and within a couple of hours I was born into this world, this time, this place. It seemed strange to be here and I starred around the room and looked at the faces. I didn't cry, I took a breath and looked expectantly. All that squishing and being ejected had taken its toll. I was tired. I rolled over to sleep. The midwives looked at the child just delivered. She was unusual. Her hair was silky black and long, well past her knees. Her skin was dark, a mahogany tint shone in the light of the fire. The girl had been born without eyelashes or eyebrows but her hair crested forward in a peak like a bird. Her features were already that of a grown child, her facial features more akin to an adult rather than a new borne. No big eyes, no rose bud mo...
Read more

6 The recluse

It had been a few months since the incident in the clearing and my thoughts had long since left speculation behind. I walked with my guide and we talked. He taught me how the natural world moved, how the interrelationships between animals and plants held the fabric of the natural world together and how the seasons effected this. He then told me the power of water, wind, fire and air and I meditated on these as I walked. It was during one of these times I came across a small shack nestled deep within the woods. It was run down and looked abandoned. Intrigued, I wandered forward to take a look. I smelt no sign of people nor fire so, presuming abandonment, I pushed open the window shutter. "Come in," a voice said from inside, "I have been expecting you. Don't be shy, I won't hurt you, and your friend would alert you if I would. Come in, come in and close the door after you. Keep the heat in." My friend? I travelled alone. The only 'person' I spoke to li...
Read more